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Friday 14 September - England v South Africa

Posted on 17th September in 2007, Announcements

The author gratefully acknowledges the superior talents of he who is named “Wyn” and apologises in advance for the blatant abuse of copyright.

Waste paper basket full, ash tray overflowing, scotch gone, sun slowly rising. Must find the positives in this performance soon.

There were several positives to take from this RWC game:

• The weather in France was better than it has been in Shoreham.
• Nevertheless those who forgot to put on sun screen did not suffer prolonged exposure to UV radiation – as it was a night game.
• The catering at Shoreham puts the Stade de France to shame.

The moment the ball went into play England were in trouble. A side without any reasonable flyhalf has always looked a bit thin this season and on Friday none of these were available to us.

- resist cheap joke about Andy Farrell not being able to look thin and find somewhere to add ‘Martin Corry will feel that his captaincy was an important factor in the team’s performance when he sees this result’ in the final version -

South Africa’s wings were quick and followed up the accurate kicking. The amount of rubbish from England’s 9 and 10 meant that any half reasonable ball was totally wasted in some of the most abject half-back displays seen for many a day.

- add ‘Jason Robinson was on form’ to list of positives

The ball tended to cross the English advantage line with monotonous regularity as the South African’s gained a solid upper hand in the match with the half-time score 20-0.

- add ‘only conceded 20 points in first half’ to positives

The second half followed much the same pattern as the first with South Africa having the upper hand in pretty much all departments, despite never really seeming to get out of 2nd gear. The final score of 36-0 was flattering to England (who were awarded the 0 before the game started), and if SA had not bungled a handful of scoring opportunities it would have been a truly unforgettable evening. As it was England have become the 5th nation to score a zero in the World Cup, and the first defending champions to do so as well as being the first team to have scored 100 and zero in world cups. The one large up side was that they only allowed SA to score 3 tries and thus denied them the bonus point.

- actually that is pretty good. Rewrite report finding a way to focus on this aspect of the game.

- Pete

4 Responses

  1. Hatchethands says:
    September 17th, 2007 at 6:21 pm


  2. samtrick1985 says:
    September 18th, 2007 at 4:34 pm

    What no pictures?? Actually after the stories Brownie’s been telling i’m not sure i’d want to see them!!

  3. Ageing Hack says:
    September 20th, 2007 at 4:06 pm

    I see two further positives here:

    Plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery

    I’m not English

  4. Hatchethands says:
    September 24th, 2007 at 5:05 pm

    Neither be I English Wyn, but the moderator refused my initial email and retuned it with a suggestion of placing it somewhere dark. I felt that if I blatantly copied your style of match report it would sneak through unnoticed.