Shoreham: 151
Lemmings: 146

Shoreham won by 5 runs

After losing the toss and being put into bat on a sunny September afternoon (not a joke) Mark Doughty and Nick Walker Snr strode out to the crease for the home side, on a suspect pitch to say the least. But one important item was missing. The Ball! The travelling side had neglected to bring a ball, resulting in the home side frantically needing to locate one of theirs. like London buses, two came along at once, and this meant the game could begin. Lemmings on loan fielder Alex Haysler was just one of many deployed by the travellers due to a shortage of players on their part, including Mark, Miles the Mercenary and Brownie.

Mark (23) immediately got stuck in with some great blows, before succumbing to their opener. this brought Captain Hofmann to the crease, and immediately removed him from it, after playing round a straight one. Ed then found himself, knees shaking, crowd watching, coming out to face the hat trick ball. This was not the only reason for his reluctance to be seen within a mile of the square. He was desperately trying to win the duck cup, a hotly contested affair this season which has seen pre season favourite Pat drop out of contention, leaving Boakes Meadows finest Ed, Jack Rivett, Greg (the other Walker) and Jasplin (the other Rivett) to battle it out. There must be something in Boakes Meadow’s water!

Unfortunately, Ed failed at his task, hitting a crunching boundary off of his second delivery. he added another 4 runs before playing the ‘dirty slog’ shot, with Nick ‘Boycott’ Walker Snr still at the crease. This did not last long before a rush of blood brought the same shot and the same result. As they say, like son, like father. JD and Ian Walker then injected the innings with some much needed impetus, trading blow for blow from both bowlers before JD departed for 20. This brought Brownie to the crease.

It was not long before Brownie was dazed, befuddled and confused by a spinning ball, slowly trudging back for a duck. Brad entered the frame and, despite assurances to the waiting batsmen to be prepared, he hit some lusty blows, including a six and a four landing inches inside the boundary, earning him a total of 13. Wyn’s first ball resulted in a horrible LBW decision by a biased umpire, as Wyn subsequently recounted to me. Alex Haysler (2) had to face the second hat trick ball of the innings before chipping towards the golf course but finding the fielder. In amongst this hive of activity Ian produced a classy display of stroke play to end with 51 and bolster Shoreham’s total up to 151.

After both teams had recharged courtesy of a Hofmann tea, Shoreham set about dispatching the opposition. JD scattered the ball around early on to keep an alert Mark on his toes. Almost inevitably JD got the first wicket with a classic longhop that was directed at an alert Brad in the field – no dozing there! Eddie (9-34-0) toiled away with no luck. The captain then made his first tactical move, bringing The Mercenary on to bowl. This change was inspired, bringing war like shrieking, scared batsmen and a very tidy and vital 8 overs for 2 wickets with the loss of just 33. Wyn then contributed to the cause at the other end, before being replaced by Brad (4-8-2) who then picked up the key wicket Shoreham badly needed. Both Miles and Brad benefited from lightning catching reactions from Nick Walker Snr and Ed Walker – There is definitely something in Boakes Meadow’s water! Alex Haysler then replaced Brad with a good first over and a terrible second which earnt him banishment to the boundary – several times!

Captain Hofmann stepped up to replace Miles but still nothing was going the way of the fielding side. Lemmings total was creeping ever closer with each over. Captain Hofmann then bought JD (10.3-26-4) back on, which proved a fruitful turning point with 2 wickets in 2 balls. We had won, against all the odds. They needed only 6 off the final over after Ed came on and helped their cause (most likely thinking this was wasting valuable drinking time) in the penultimate over. Thanks to all who provided a great sporting event and a great season for players and spectators alike.

Gold? We won our last Saturday match of the season. Frank Incense over the dreadful decision against Wyn. And could we survive without Miles the Mercenary.

- Alex Haysler

Posted on Tuesday, 23rd September, 2008 in Friendly Match Reports.