What a relief to reach the end of such a dreadful week. It has been impossible to open a paper without reading of the dodgy dealings of our appointed leaders, the poor behaviour of Speaker Martin, and calls for the Prime Minister to resign. How good then to re-enter the world of cricket, where the rules are known, everyone plays fairly, and order is kept by eagle-eyed and impartial officials.

This week we faced our old friends Halstead. As Ray and Paul padded up to open, someone in their camp was heard to observe that it was unusual to start with two runners on the field.

Sources close to Paul Styles revealed that he will not be available to us next week as he and his wife are attending a dancing masterclass. This seems well timed because Paul’s footwork could certainly have been better as he waltzed around a full toss to be bowled for 2 (or 1 and a leg bye according to the umpires).

Halstead’s game plan appeared to be to keep Ray in as long as possible, as he was – rather deliberately – dropped three times before someone clung on to his fourth lobbed effort out of sheer embarrassment. This brought the returning Robert the Developer to the crease, along with Montie. The hyperactive pair began to scamper about and improve what had been a fairly low run rate, on a pitch that made it difficult to score. Opinion in the pavilion was that 160 would be a good total, but Montie, Robert and then Martin kept increasing the tempo. Martin relieved the pressure that his results so far had begun to heap upon him, by top-scoring with his maiden 50 of the season. Brad, Chris and the Hack latterly kept Martin company and made a few runs of their own. We eventually set Halstead the very respectable target of 186.

In this game James Asplin finally made a telling contribution to the bowling attack by introducing Nigel Jefferies to the side. Brad and Andree, who opened, and then Robert and Nigel kept the run rate low and steadily took wickets. Without the book, this report is a little light on exact statistics. I do however recall that Robert took at least five wickets.

Keeper Martin felt that he was very hard done by on at least two occasions: the first when he took a stunning leg-side catch from a hook shot, and the second when he chose the perfect moment to remove the bails as the batsman rocked forwards. Neither decision went his way, and he was so moved after the second that he strode down the pitch and hurled both gloves to the ground. It seemed a practised move: one could picture him flinging the Marigolds to the kitchen floor and complaining ‘No Linda, it’s not fair. I’ve done more than my share of the washing up this week already’.

Halstead’s last pair came together with the score not much over 100 and about 15 overs left. Taking that final wicket proved to be no formality. Ray and James A, amongst others, found themselves on the receiving end of some lusty hitting and the asking rate was still around 6 an over as 150 came in sight for the visitors. At this point Andree returned to the attack and, to everyone’s relief, snuck one through to wrap up a 40 run victory.

So far so good. However, when leaving the ground, I discovered that someone had swiped my cricket trousers and the money they held, leaving me the butt of a lot of humour in the George, which, frankly, I found very childish and predictable.

This morning I opened my Telegraph to find that my trousers, as well as his own, have turned up in our leader’s kit bag, and that he has been claiming against mine as his constituency trousers.

Brown must go!

- Wyn

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Posted on Monday, 18th May, 2009 in 2nds Match Reports.