Shoreham heroes thrash struggling Eynsford in the National Village Knockout. Next step: Lord’s!

Sorry, that was a lie, but I got you to open this Email, didn’t I? To bowdlerise Groucho Marx, any team which wants me to captain, open the batting and act as first change bowler is not a team which I (or anyone else I imagine) wish to join! The bald facts of the match are as follows: Shoreham won the toss and put Eynsford in to field. Eynsford scored 234 for 7/8? off 40 overs. Shoreham scored 62 all out. For the mathematically challenged amongst us, we scored 26.5% of Eynsford’s total. The rain fell slowly throughout the afternoon and the wind caused the sightscreen to crash over with an impressive clang after a couple of overs. When Eynsford said they needed to get the heavy roller out, we were hoping they meant to roll the distinctly green and mossy wicket but it was put to more practical use, being tethered to the sightscreen to act as ballast to stop it flying into the Darenth.

After 20 overs, Eynsford had scored 85 runs for the loss of 4 wickets (a brace each for Russell Smith and Jack Rivett), but then we ran out of bowlers. Ray, Sam, Tom and Alex all turned the arm over, but Eynsford’s middle order scored 150 runs in the next 20 overs and that, pretty much, was that. Alex was numerically top-bowler with 3 wickets but Jack was easily the pick of the bowlers- I’ve never seen a spinner bounce one over the batsman’s head before. Three Shoreham batsmen scored 11 runs (Russell, Ray and Jack) after mistakenly thinking that they had reached Nelson (111) and Sam top-scored on 14 n.o.

What is the collective noun for a trio of Tricks? Normally of course it would be a Triumph of Tricks (thanks for the lift there and back Ray), but yesterday’s Tricks were plagued by injury. Raymondo the Great had an injured groin (thanks for the visual demonstration of where it hurt, Ray), Sam had an injured thumb and James, our talismanic strike bowler and clutch batter bowled 8 balls before pulling a muscle in his side and finishing the over off a one stride run-up – hope it gets better before the weekend, James.

In summary, Shoreham were out-played, out-gunned and out of the Cup. Still, everyone wants to win the Premiership rather than the Carling Cup, so this was an experiment which, while character-building for the participants, is unlikely to be repeated.

Well done to Pat and the Senior Rivetts and to Mrs Hofmann Jr. for coming along to support the team, sorry we couldn’t provide more entertainment, but the London Pride hopefully provided some compensation.

- Alex

Posted on Monday, 18th May, 2009 in Friendly Match Reports.