Still seeking their first win of the season, the Shoreham XI took on the might of Horton Kirby and after a rained off match against Otford last week, everyone was keen to get a good result out of the match.

After winning the toss and with a tedious inevitability, we were put in to the field on a sunny but windy day. Ed (8 – 0 – 44 – 1) and Joel (4 – 0 – 39 – 0) opened with no breakthrough until Joel was replaced with Jack and Ed bowled Hildebrand for 29 with a corker. The run rate accelerated a bit for the next couple of overs until Jack caught the edge of Bennett (55) which was taken by makeshift keeper Mazzon. The team suddenly had a new-found sense of confidence and took to field with new energy, determined to convert on this promising start. After this Andre (5 – 0 – 39 – 1) came on to replace Ed and caught Overden with a double-bouncing bouncer which trapped him LBW for only 8. The next breakthrough came with Shoreham’s new addition, Krish Therli, who had claimed not to have played cricket for over three years before bowling two of Horton Kirby’s middle order in his first pair of overs before their in-form batsmen Reynolds skied one to Dan James on 61. Krish ended with figures of (5 – 0 – 22 – 3) making him the pick of the Shoreham bowlers. Other contributions came from Dan Setterfield (5 – 0 – 23 – 1), Dan James (1 – 0 – 10 – 0) and Alex Haysler who took the advice of bowling better than his last spell (1 – 0 – 23 – 0) and have an economy of less than 23. He nearly managed to cut that in half this time with figures of (2 – 0 – 26 – 0), so a big improvement for him. In the end Horton Kirby hit exactly 200 runs off their 40 overs meaning Shoreham needed just over 5 runs an over to see their first victory of the season become a reality.

After a quality tea from Dan James, Jack acknowledged that Shoreham needed to make a quick start in order to make a dent in the 201 runs required so sent in the in-form Ed Walker with the more experienced Bob Sims. The customary Shoreham collapse happened a bit earlier than usual this week with the first six batsmen scoring 17 runs by the bat between them. This included Dan Setterfield who was certain to hit at least 70 runs looking at his form. Unfortunately it seemed that he had got his priorities a bit wrong when his wife phoned when he was on 3 to tell him that she was having a baby and he departed to a wave applause, leaving the team in even more difficulty.

Then came Dan James. It’s fair to say that Dan’s batting history at Shoreham cricket club does not make for the best reading with a top score of 18 and a single figure average last year. However after a net session where he realised that the harder he hit the ball, the further it went, he decided to put all past form behind him and launch an assault on the Horton Kirby attack with Krish. However, Alex Haysler seemed to have different ideas in this match after getting only 3 runs with the bat, decided that he would do all he could to make sure that he top-scored. So after giving Bob out stumped on 3, he decided to give Krish out LBW for a duck, a definite Sunday Taboo. Andre (2) followed suit quickly leaving a dire looking 62-8 and about 25 of those came from extras. This brought Captain Jack to the crease and with this, something that will go down in Shoreham legend.

Dan’s first boundary came with a deft flick off his pads, clearing square leg and running down the hill for four well-deserved runs. Jack started in a much similar fashion, hitting Costen for back-to-back straight fours at the start of his over and suddenly Horton Kirby had a sense of urgency about them, realising that they had to do something so they brought back on their openers (The same openers that tore through our top order). This change had no effect on the two batsmen who took to them happily and before anyone knew it, Jack had reached his first ever 50 with Dan not far behind. After this Jack decided that he had had enough of batting so got bowled by Watts on 51, leaving Dan stranded in the middle on 46 and bringing last man Joel to the crease. Unfortunately Joel was also a bit tired so got himself out for a duck, meaning that Dan was left on 47*, let down by a team that didn’t support him. Shoreham ended on 145, 56 runs short of the win but hey, when has that mattered?

Man of the match is Dan James for taking a catch, making a splendid tea, scoring a magnificent 47* and quadrupling his average for the season, and being a good sport and buying a jug for 50 avoidance.

Maz

This was the beginning of our chance to end the first half of the season in style: Withyham at home, then next week St. Lawrence away, then Lympsfield Chart at home, before facing joint league leaders Underriver.

At 2.00 things didn’t look hopeful as rain lashed across the field driven by a stiff breeze, and thunder rumbled overhead. Suddenly the wind veered, blue sky appeared from the west and the game was on.

For once, we had a team brimming with youthful bowlers (or, as Nick Pearce was kind enough to put it, in the hearing of our more seasoned servants, ‘good bowlers, for a change’). Alex and Tom were the first of our good bowlers used, and from the first they had Withyham’s openers twitching like landed fish as they tried to make contact with deliveries whistling into or past them. For a while Withyham stumbled along at around two an over but without loss. It took Ed’s introduction to start the wickets falling, and then they fell quite steadily: Ed and Tom finishing with three apiece, George with two, and Alex and Bob Shapter (spot the odd man out) with one each.

The most significant resistance came from George Smith, who looked as though he should be asked to produce a birth certificate before being allowed to play. He’s about 2’ 6”, probably weighs 3 stone wringing wet (do the conversions yourselves metric boys) and batted impeccably, finishing on 25 not out – a higher score than even extras.

Alex, obviously auditioning for the Firsts, put one catch down and retired, downcast to the boundary. It was at this point that the crowd closed his book and went for a stroll. In contrast to Alex, Ed seemed quite jolly when he dropped one off his Dad’s bowling, and continued in merry mood when he came out to umpire.

Set a modest 131, but with the wicket and outfield still slow, we made a poor start. Nick Pearce scored off each of the first two balls, but the third evaded his bat (or did it?), struck his pad, and was taken by the keeper. Standing at the non-striker’s end, er, I mean following up keenly from the non-striker’s end, I have to say that in the flurry of bat and pads I wasn’t sure what had happened, but Nick’s general demeanour as he walked off gave the impression that he had very entrenched views on the subject.

Your correspondent failed to trouble the scorers, beyond recording the means of his dismissal, and Paul Styles only managed a solitary single. At something like 10 – 3 things were not looking good.

Then came the stand that steadied the ship. Captain Nick was joined by Pat Reynolds, and they looked capable of finishing the match on their own until, due to one of those unfortunate incidents when one chap has his ear trumpet tuned to the wrong station and is busy thinking about how his marrows are doing, as the other chap comes hurtling down the pitch yelling, they found themselves sharing the same crease, and hadn’t finished debating who was going to make an effort to reach the other end before the bails were removed. Nick it was who trudged in, after a confident 28 that seems to confirm his return to form.

Young Ed replaced old Nick and struck a lively 27. With the winning post in sight, first Ed and then ex-captain Brown were lost, but Cool-hand Bob Shapter strode to the crease and dispatched the winning boundary with great insouciance. We won by four wickets with three and a half overs in hand. Pat finished on an unbeaten 52, just failing to avoid the purchase of a jug after spending a suspiciously long time on 49.

At the time of writing it looks as though there is a result for Otford – Lympsfield Chart that has not been returned. Both teams are currently below us (as are Withyham) and will stay that way if their fixture was abandoned or if Lympsfield won. Otford could overtake us if they won.

Next week we play St. Lawrence who are just one point ahead of us, but their total includes 20 points for a conceded fixture. A key game!

Wyn

The trophy match between Shoreham CC and The Jolly Rogers is played every yeah with the loser of the match receiving the much coveted ‘Dossers Cup’ in memory of Colin Boothroyd. However there was an unusual twist in the match this year where the opposition failed to find eleven cricketers worthy to take on the mighty Shoreham Sunday XI and pulled out on the Thursday before the match. Our Honorary Fixtures Secretary sprung into action to find us a replacement match at Wadhurst CC, a team we had never come across before.

The drive to the ground was a long one with constant rain all the way which didn’t change much when we finally arrived and much doubt was cast in whether the match would go ahead, especially after Joel told us of a nearby carvery that would serve a mean Sunday roast. But Shoreham cricketers are made of dedicated stuff and decided to stay to see the rain clear up for a slightly delayed start.

After losing the toss, Shoreham were sent into bat on a bouncy and variable wicket. Ray Trick (87) and  Paul Styles (34) made a steady start before picking the pace up with some lovely shots from both batsman. Just when all was going to plan Paul danced down the wicket to a ball from Wagner and but was deceived with the flight and stumped with a nifty bit of keeping. This brought Alex Mazzon to the crease with much expectation of thumping sixes and a guaranteed ton. However he couldn’t live up to his talk and after an agonisingly slow start, was bowled for 17, but not before seeing Ray hit his 50 and form a 50 partnership with the in-form Trick of the weekend. Cue the Shoreham collapse. After Ray departed, brief spells from Haysler (7), Heathcote (6), George Stacey (4 n.o), Walker (1), Rivett J (very brief) (Golden Duck) and Setterfield (1 n.o) followed bringing the visitors up to a respectable (171-7).

A delightful tea with ridiculously cheap Harveys (£2.50 a pint) followed before Shoreham left for the field with ever darkening skies above. Both openers bowled tightly but couldn’t find a breakthrough with both Ed (7-2-35-0) and Joel (8-0-29-0) coming very close on a number of occasions. The change came with both Rivett brothers (Jack 4-0-32-0 and George 3-0-18-0) taking the ball but once again no breakthrough could be found there. Jack resorted first to secret weapon Setterfield (6-0-23-0) who tried a new tactic of trying to kill / confuse the batsmen with the odd head high beamer before trying to knock out their middle stump with a devious faster ball. Then came the rain. Out of all other ideas the captain turned to out-of-form Alex Mazzon (Still recovering from injury) to bowl in the downpour. He (6-2-21-0) and Setterfield toiled away with more chances in 8 overs than you usually get in a whole match (Including four dropped catches, one missed stumping and a very close run out) but still the batsmen stood strong. With the scores level their batsmen Notley needed four runs for his century so the ever-gracious Dan Setterfield sportingly bowled a wide to win the game for Wadhurst and leave their batsmen on 96 runs.

The decision was then made that as we had been denied a carvery for lunch, we should get a curry for dinner. Half of the defeated Shoreham cohort then went to Ashique in Sevenoaks for what can only be described as a tour-worthy curry. Even though there was a long drive, torrential downpours and a loss, a good day was had by all and hopefully a regular fixture against a friendly and worthy side.

Mazz

Vaughan Williams ‘The Lark Ascending’ was a fitting accompaniment to my drive through the sunlit summer lanes from Lympsfield Chart to Cudham Wyse. This is one of the most popular pieces in the classical repertoire among British listeners. The use of pentatonic scale patterns frees the violin from a strong tonal centre, and shows the impressionistic side of Vaughan Williams’ style. This liberty also extends to the metre. The cadenzas for solo violin are written without bar lines, lending them a sense of meditational release.

Anyway, it’s pretty good.

I don’t like to make these reviews just about me, but due to a simple error I was absent for the first ten overs of Cudham Wyse’s innings and so I can’t write, first-hand, about anyone else.

Apparently Brad and Bob Shapter made their customary start, keeping the run rate modest but – on this occasion – without making a breakthrough.

First change were Captain Nick and George Rivett (although the Play Cricket website mistakenly says it was Jack – Boozy please note). Last year George went away a rosy-cheeked, spindly, slow to medium paced, spectacles cleaner. After his round the world tour he has returned a meat-eating, fire-breathing quickie, capable of getting the ball to lift sharply off a length and of bullying even established batsmen.

Before and after the drinks break, Nick and George took two wickets each: as the scoreboard changed from 75 – 0 to 125 – 4. Cudham Wyse were moving along at 5 an over but at this stage their innings stalled. Some tight bowling, supported by sharp fielding – notably from Josh Westacott, demonstrating his youth on one boundary, and from Nick Pearce, demonstrating his circus skills on the other.

The fall of Cudham Wyse’s sixth wicket at 143 brought Danny Thomas to the crease, and he and Chris Barnes plundered 62 more runs from the last 8 overs, with a combination of bold hitting and quick singles. Before this partnership, a total of 170 – 180 had looked likely but now we had a more formidable 205 to chase.

In a way, our innings began in a similar way to theirs, although it was now the glittering notes of Vivaldi’s violin concerto in B minor that provided a perfect accompaniment to the early evening sunshine, as I made my way back from Lympsfield Chart, carrying the kit that I had inadvertently left there earlier.

I returned to find that Nick Pearce and Pat (aka ‘Stan’) Reynolds were already showered and changed: Nick having contributed an explosive 8 and ‘Stan’ a modest 1. Captain Nick and Martin Wells began to repair the damage with a partnership that lasted several overs (to which Nick contributed 1). It was then Martin, Bob Shapter, and Chris Brown who supplied some substance to our innings. Martin looked in extremely good touch until failing to read an inswinging ball and departing for 34. Bob’s controlled aggression contributed 28 before he fell to an improbable catch at short extra cover when another boundary had seemed odds on.

What is it possible to say about Chris’s innings? He rode his luck as the ball bounced around and over his stumps from a series of Chinese cuts and other, rarer shots that have not yet been categorised and described in Wisden. In between these he top scored with 44 runs to all parts of the ground.

Brad had a golden entry for the duck cup. Russ was bowled just a few runs later, having struck a single boundary. Josh showed distinct promise in his 15 run innings. Ageing Hack (dressed by Walker) was then left undefeated on 9 as a surge of testosterone had Spectacles Cleaner Man swinging wildly over a straight one.

Shoreham were all out in 36.4 overs: 34 runs short of Cudham Wyse’s total and 19 runs short of our next batting point.

Bowling and batting points are proving vital in the bottom half of the Division 5 table. We are one of four teams with just one win to date. We are 9 points behind Otford, 1 ahead of St. Lawrence, and 5 ahead of Lympsfield Chart. Withyham prop up the table with no wins so far.

We have yet to play the three teams below us so this should give us the opportunity to chalk up some more points. Next week however we play Luddesdown, who top the table, partly as a result of two cancelled fixtures. Fortunately this is a home game, so no feats of memory or navigation are required.

Wyn

In exceptionally difficult fielding conditions, Shoreham beat Otford by 5 wickets with 7 overs to spare.
Wyn

Wyn, I think that people might appreciate a little more detail.
Nick

I think that I’ve covered the essentials.
Wyn

No, really. What about the batting and bowling and that sort of thing?
Nick

I feel that the defining characteristic of the match, that everyone will want to know about, is just how tricky – in fact nearly impossible – fielding was: what with the uneven ground and the sun reflecting off the windscreens in the car park, and everything.
Wyn

Everyone else managed.
Nick

Well what about those Otford batspeople who either dropped the ball just out of range, or else hit it straight at you, very hard?
Wyn

Oh, just get on with it!
Nick

No need to take that tone, Mr. Snappy.

The afternoon began with the captain addressing the side in the changing room. He suggested that the reason for the previous week’s loss to Halstead was that we had let them score too many runs. A stunned silence followed this penetrating analysis, which put the whole game in a new light for many of us.

Fielding first, in very challenging conditions, we found that Gideon Bishop, Otford’s number two, was in aggressive form, and he plundered 38 runs from our opening attack in very quick order. Brad finally trapped Bishop lbw, swinging across the line once too often. After that, the score progressed at a more modest rate, but without further loss, into the second half of the innings. At 122 for 1 in the 25th over, Otford seemed destined to post a large score. Then, after Ed was withdrawn from the attack, there was a remarkable turnaround. First, the big Rivett bowled Jonathan Pyman, the Otford captain batting at number three, and only one run later he held on to a catch to dismiss Otford’s other opener off Captain Nick’s bowling. The floodgates then opened.

Nick and Jack broke the back of Otford’s batting. Nick finished with 5 wickets and Jack with 2. The little Rivett then contributed a few tidy overs before Brad returned to polish off the end of a long tail. Monty claimed two catches, Jack, George and Nick one each. From 122 -1 Otford slumped to 165 all out.

Our bowlers were well supported by some very smart fielding, which was remarkable in the difficult conditions in which anyone might have been forgiven for being deceived by the unpredictable bounce in an uneven outfield. Particularly with the light reflecting off the windscreens in the car park, and .. (The following 200 words have been omitted – ed).

With a fast track, a quick outfield, and a required rate of just over four an over, the scene was set for a Paul Styles innings. At first though, it was Will Westacott who dominated the scoring: racing to his fifty and finally falling for 73 when the openers had completed a century opening stand. Captain Nick was next in but failed to trouble the scorer. Then came Bob Shapter.

It was very noticeable that up to this point virtually all our scoring was either in singles or fours. There had been just two twos. Bob then nearly completed a third – all on his own – before failing to recover his ground as Paul watched benignly, and statically, from the other end.

Monty was fifth in, but was reduced to a spectator as Paul retained the strike, over after over, passing his fifty with a lusty six and a four. Paul was eventually caught at slip, out for 65, with the job all but done. Ed quickly supplied the 6 further runs required for victory.

So, we posted our first win of the season, and look forward to more: preferably on better tended outfields where fielding … (a further 100 words have been omitted here in the readers’ interest. – ed).

Wyn

For the second season in a row our first fixture was against league debutantes: last year Luddesdowne, this year Underriver.

Of course, one has to be welcoming and so winning would have seemed discourteous.

Losing the toss, we were invited to bat. Our batting order was flexible to allow Montie, who was being crowned Queen Of The May elsewhere, to slot in when he arrived.

Ring rustiness, or possibly the wrong optical prescription, seemed to affect most of the top order. Paul Styles struck a couple of confident boundaries before playing down the wrong line and diverting the ball onto his stumps. Nick (Captain Hologram) Walker, lasted for just a few, eventful balls. Bob Shapter hung around for a while but also perished cheaply. Wyn attempted to play a steady role but was comprehensively beaten by a good yorker before managing more than a single boundary.

The only man to stand tall was Will Westacott – although let it be said that he is no longer taller than son Josh, who has either been standing in a growbag or was wearing stilts under his whites. First in and fifth out, Will was the only one of the top order to offer us a gleam of hope. Just as he began to flex his muscles and attack the bowling, he was caught on the boundary. Had he survived the story of the game might have been different.

Now came the Sims.

There had been discussion in the close season about whether to play Brad as an all rounder or as an out-and-out paramedic. He proved his worth in the all rounders role: top scoring – only interrupting his innings to save the life of the elderly mother of Underriver’s president, who collapsed on the boundary – and, later, bowling nine economical overs. Meanwhile Bob lent good support, keeping out the bowling at the other end.

By the time that Bob was out the May Queen had arrived, and strode out to bat, long locks flowing in the breeze. Everyone danced round him for a while, but – after a promising start – he too fell cheaply. After that, the enthusiastic and promising, but fatally inexperienced, tail of Josh Westacott, Jack Webster, and Zac Beresford contributed only a handful of runs, and Shoreham were all out for 93.

When the opposition were 39 – 4, with Bob Shapter and Brad bowling well, all things seemed possible, but despite our best efforts Underriver lost no more wickets, and overtook us in the 20th over of their innings.

So, welcome to Underriver and better luck to us next time.

- Wyn

A beautiful Easter Sunday greeted a youthful but strong Shoreham side in the age old derby against ACME. The temperature hit a mighty 27ºC, perfect fielding weather you might say? Captain Pat thought so and we were thrust out in the unrelenting sunshine, but with a twist: Both captains agreed that both sides would have to use 9 bowlers to make the match a bit more exciting.

Both opening bowlers toiled away with Sean Bromfield (9 – 2 – 41 – 0) and Ed Walker (8 – 1 – 50 – 1) coming close on a number of occasions but the openers stood strong through to the first change. Rivett J (4 – 0 – 13 – 0) and Haysler (1 – 0 – 21 – 0) continued the bowling attack but alas, no breakthrough could be found there, although they seemed to take a liking to Alex’s legspin and he was dispatched for an expensive 21 run over. The first wicket came finally when Lynch was decieved by a corker from players’ player Danny Setterfield (6 – 0 – 37 – 1) which went down a treat until from the huddle, Pat realised who the next batsman was. Fresh off a casual 160 the week before, Siva (75 n.o) took to the crease. The run rate picked up from there on until Shoreham released their secret weapon. Rivett G (4 – 2 – 7 – 2) dented the ACME plans a tad by first of all dismissing Marshall, but then proceeding to trap Williamson LBW for nothing less than a golden duck. The hat-trick ball was bowled with every fielder as close as they could get but unfortunately was defended expertly, leaving George with nothing less than a double wicket maiden. Siva very nearly fell by looping one to George on the boundary but it was not to be; he confessed to be sitting on the line as he made the catch and Siva was awarded another six. Brownie (1 – 0 – 11 – 0) and G. Stacey (1 – 0 – 14 – 0) also joined the party but couldn’t make a breakthrough in the strong batting line-up. The innings ended on 249 – 4 setting Shoreham a nice round 250 for the win.

After a wonderful ACME tea it was Shoreham’s turn to bat with Haysler (46) and Nick Walker (11). The Boakes Meadow Massive pair put on 34 before the first wicket fell when Siva was brought on to bowl and Nick was trapped LBW. This brought Bromfield to the crease for his first batting display of the season. He didn’t disappoint either with a tidy 42, unfazed by a few roaring appeals from ‘the Growler’ Prest, until he set off for a run that never was and was well fielded by Masterson S. Mazzon came in just in time to see Haysler lose his offstump to another Siva corker and a 62 run partnership for the High Street Massive then formed between Brownie (13) and Mazzon (31) (including a handy 6 and 18 extras). But it was not enough and the overs ran out with just 192 on the board. A special mention should go to Mr Extras who gave us a helping hand with an innings high 46 runs and George for throwing himself around in the field to try and slow the run rate. So the cricket was over for another week and the Sunday XI were back into the swing of things with a losing draw.

Mazz