“That’s an awful decision by the umpire there.” – Geoffrey Boycott OBE (Sports Commentator)

“It’s bad news for the English game” – Alan Hansen (Sports Commentator)

“Errrr I didn’t see it…” – Arsene Wenger (Manager of Plaxtol CC)

Here is just some of the criticism for an umpiring decision made on a fine summer’s day in Shoreham. It was the first ball of the second over of the game and Brad Sims steamed in to bowl and the batsman for Plaxtol daintily gloved the bowl into the waiting hands of wicketkeeper Nick Pearce. Raucous celebrations were cut short due to an unmoved batsman and a similarly unmoved umpire.

However, we are not a bitter side and the jibes only lasted 8 hours further. The batsman was removed by Sims’ opening partner Tom Palmer (14-2-49-2) after getting 25. The troops were galvanised behind skipper Barrett and it showed as Sims (9-3-37-2) and Palmer removed the top 4 batsmen for under 70 runs. However, this did bring Williams to the crease who hit an unbeaten 97 including a phenomenal 18 fours and he is the main reason for some of the bowling figures looking a bit out of line!! Alex ‘Warney’ Haysler (6-0-45-1) replaced Brad and his leg spin down the hill was rumoured to have turned sideways. It certainly did for one batsman who lost his off peg. Palmer was finally given a rest from what has become known as ‘the Tom Palmer End’ and was replaced with Joel Hewett (3-0-41-0) who struggled to find his line but when he did the batsmen were in trouble. The familiar medium pace partnership of George Rivett (4-0-23-2) and Danny Setterfield (3-0-23-0) brought the batmen some issues although the final wicket stand was a large one with Plaxtol’s number 9 hitting 34 in a quick fashion. Bob Sims (2-0-24-0) took over one end to finish up but the batsmen were chasing everything by this point and they left the field at tea having set the formidable total of 247 for 7.

A Haysler tea, complete with smoked salmon and cream cheese rolls, was just what the doctor ordered to get rid of the dry taste of the hangover that most of the team seemed to be harbouring. The pressure of opening fell to Ray Trick and Bob Sims and Bob was victim of an LBW and left for 2. This brought Nick ‘keeper-batsman’ Pearce to the crease and he and Ray shared a hundred partnership with Nick finishing on 63 and Ray on 54. Shoreham were always behind the run rate but there was an absence of the usual batting collapse. Haysler (4) and Palmer (11) were both disposed of cheaply bringing Jon Beard hobbling to the crease due to an injury acquired earlier in the match. Jon bravely turned down a runner and he decided running between the wickets wasn’t a great idea so he dispatched the bowling to the boundaries instead including a wonderfully timed six. Jon finished and 17 not out and Brad joined him at the crease for a cameo of 0 not out. The match was drawn with Shoreham still needing 80 runs but Shoreham had fared much worse in this fixture in the past and were left feeling content with what they had achieved. So it was down to Ye Olde George Inne to sample many beers from the Beer Festival and relax into the bank holiday weekend…

- George

There are essentially two ways of responding to the kind of weather conditions that prevailed on Saturday: there is the going down the pub, sitting there talking about how you wish you were playing, and racking up your five points way (which we’ll call the First Eleven Method), and then there’s the gritty, British, ‘Well we’re all here so we’d better make the best of it’ approach – and that’s the Second Eleven way. And we do it with style. It was really impressive how many of the eleven had brought their own spectacle and/or ball drying flannels to the game, and – if I’m not mistaken – one or two of them might actually have been monogrammed.

Having watched the rain for an hour, we took to the field in a light drizzle. Leigh raced away, with their infant prodigy, Kevin Watts, scoring a brisk 52. He took a particular liking to our own six-foot, infant prodigy, Alex Masson, who was temporarily withdrawn from the attack. The experience of Ray at one end and Nick Walker at the other then calmed things down, though Leigh continued to accumulate runs steadily, without loss. The key to breaking the opening partnership was the return of veteran (surely vetinary – ed) (I know what I mean – Hack) Graham Peck, who turned over his creaking shoulder and tempted the infant Kevin into a lofted drive. Down on the long-on boundary, an unconcerned Derek was wandering around in the gloom. Alerted to the approach of the small, round object, vaguely discernable against the grey sky, Derek made a remarkable catch, which was the highlight of a magnificent fielding display on his part. Naturally, he later injured himself and may not be seen again for a few weeks.

The next best fielding was probably that of Leigh’s square leg umpire. A sharp sweep, which he couldn’t see (because of a grounded Wyn, who was left clasping at thin air) caught him a painful blow on the shin, and so he saved a certain boundary.

Wyn was granted a marathon four over spell and, courtesy of a very sharp stumping by Martin, took the second wicket to fall. Several other close stumping appeals were denied – as they were at the other end.

Entering the final overs the pressure was on, and it was about now that Ray lost his ring. 

Alex Masson was reintroduced to the attack and his pace beat two of Leigh’s senior batsmen, who each saw their off-stump removed. Alex Haysler’s two overs from the other end were less productive, for Shoreham at least.

Leigh finished with a very respectable 30-over total of 186, setting us a target of just above 6 an over, but -with a top four of Mick Johnson, Ray, Nick Walker and Martin – we felt that this might not be beyond us. Unfortunately it was one of those afternoons when a catalogue of accidents and close things all went against us. Ray thought too late about having the sight screen adjusted when the bowler switched from over to round the wicket, Mick was caught on the very boundary off a no-ball that wasn’t called, and Nick feathered a ball into the keeper’s gloves.

Martin kept the flame burning, supported by a battling 10 from Hopalong Derek, a brief 2 from Alex Masson, and a stylish 11 from the ever-improving Alex Haysler. With a jug looking a nailed-on certainty, Martin steered an innocuous ball onto his stumps ‘by accident’, thereby saving himself a tenner and all but ending any faint hopes that we had of winning. The next objective was therefore to get at least one batting point. Wyn joined Chris when the score was on 102 and the better part of eight overs still remaining. They immediately developed an almost telepathic understanding, taking every run on offer with calls such as ‘I don’t know what you’re doing up here mate. You should be down the other end’. A lively partnership was broken in the penultimate over, with Chris swinging over a straight one. Graham joined Wyn and this pair were there at the end, with the score on 145.

Instead of the traditional march to the pavilion, both sides then formed a search line and combed the ground for Ray’s ring, which was restored to him.

In order to teach young Kevin and his Dad a lesson, we locked them in the pavilion when we set off for the George. There, the beer and the wine led some senior members of the squad into the kind of excess that we can only hope the Shoreham Gazette does not have photographs of.

An apology

Because your correspondent was away, there was no report of the Second’s game against Outwood. In that match, goaded by the lack of column inches devoted to his battling duck the previous week, Nick Pearce played a sparkling innings. But I wasn’t going to say much about that either in the hope that he would be spurred to even greater heights on his next appearance.

- Wyn

The Chelsfield Park fixture is awaited in the Shoreham cricketing calendar with anticipation for many different reasons. Last year brought an exciting fixture which ended in a tied game at home and the year before that a very slow scoring game left us with a losing draw away from home. This season didn’t give us either of these results but it was yet again an enticing encounter.

The mercury was hitting 26ºC (or 79ºF if you went to school in the 1960s) and the Shoreham skipper Pat Barrett saw it fit to field first. This would later turn out to be a blessing in disguise but the Shoreham faithful were fighting over the shade for the best part of 3 hours. Ed Walker (8-1-39-0) and Tom Palmer (8-1-30-1) opened the bowling and Palmer managed to break through one opener’s defences with a bouncer which (apparently) hit forearm and looped into the waiting hands of Ray Trick in slip who safely pouched the catch. The batsman was ecstatic to be given out for a single and Palmer and Walker continued to toil away in the heat without any further success. Their replacements, Joel Hewett (5-0-40-0) and Trick (8-2-20-0) bowled just as well as the openers but without any reward except for some nice looking figures. The partnership of Georges, Rivett (6-0-24-1) and Stacey (3-0-15-0), then had a crack and Rivett managed not to drop batsmen no.3 at the second time of asking (this time off his own bowling – Sorry Tom!!) Stacey bowled well with the batsmen not quite sure how to deal with his bowling and the same can be said for his replacement Greg Taylor (3-1-12-0) who once again produced some fine leg spin! Russell Brooks (3-0-20-0) also took up one end and gave the batsmen something to think about. A mention should go to all the fielders who stayed in the baking heat for 45 overs but and special mention goes to Richard Nash who kept very well on an infamously dodgy track.

Tea had never looked so inviting to those who had started to hallucinate in the field. Many of the Shoreham team relaxed into their innings not banking on being called on too soon. There was no such luck, as both openers, Trick and Brooks, fell for ducks and I know Russell won’t mind me saying that he was comprehensively beaten by the pick of the Park’s bowlers: Miles Walker (7-1-18-3). Palmer (7) and Hewett (5) each took a slight stand but Miles and his opening partner Carrett, who also took 3 wickets, could not be kept back. Kumar followed with a duck, Taylor with 5 after being deceived trying to hit Miles and Barrett was run out by Stacey who has inexplicably fallen down the order for next week. Although not for his batting prowess as he scored a deserved joint high score of 13, being joined on that score by Rivett. Nash also chipped in with a useful 11 and Ed Walker brought up the rear with 5 not out after being left alone at the crease by Rivett. So Shoreham collapsed to a score of 64 all out and were comprehensively beaten by Chelsfield Park by 146 runs.

It was down the pub in time to get a few jars in before heading homeward bound. The most exciting event of the day took place here as several underage girls passed in a car and later returned shouting Richard’s name with much enthusiasm. It later turned out they were his pupils but this excuse couldn’t prevent the tirade of rinsing that came his way. Onward to a home tie against Plaxtol next week when we hope it is cooler…

- George

What a win!! No-one thought it would have been so easy in the build-up to the game but it was. Yes, England had thoroughly thrashed Australia and Aussies around the world cried into their baggies. It was left to Shoreham then, to emulate their national side and the game was approached with just that mind set…

Shoreham were put into bat by the visitors and the established opener Haysler yet again took up the mantle, being joined by Bob Sims. Bob departed for a single although he did have to run a three for the energetic young Haysler. Bob’s exit brought Alex Mazzon to the crease who was yet to bat on a Sunday and he produced an impressive display to keep the top order moving. Unfortunately Haysler was taken in by the spin of Burley and a juggling slip catch to depart on 15. The middle order collapse that we know and love inevitably followed although the speed of it this week must be commended. Golden ducks for Dan Setterfield and Tom Palmer gave Burley a hat-trick and Shoreham a headache. It fell to Kumar to stop the rot and he did so but only after a false start trying to walk to the crease without any pads on. Kumar gave the grandstand something to cheer including a juicy 6 into the sightscreen. Mazzon fell to Franklin for an innings high score of 33 bringing Rivett the younger to the crease for a quick 15 (including his first 6) before being bowled. Kumar followed suit shortly afterwards for a personal best of 26. George Stacey and Russell Brooks kept the runs ticking over and each departed for 8. Debutant Joel Hewett delivered some fantastic strokes but fell to LBW on 12 leaving Pat without a partner to play with on a duck-avoiding 2 not out. Mr Extras chipped in with a handy 26 and Shoreham finished on 145 all out which we thought was a defendable total…

The Setterfield tea went down as well as the news of the England game and with an overcast sky the opening bowlers of Palmer (7-1-19-1) and Mazzon (7-0-13-0) looked to get some swing. Tom made the break through in his second over to dismiss Waggoners’ captain Payak for only 4 with a caught and bowled. The catch was straight out of Collingwood’s book and Pat’s jubilation was heard in Otford. Unfortunately from Otford came the noise of rain and after only 9 overs, Shoreham were back in the pavilion drinking tea and musing on which summer sport to play next. However, it would take more than a passing shower to stop this mighty team and indeed the contingent were out again in less than 10 minutes. Haysler (3-0-17-0) and Setterfield (6-0-21-0) replaced the openers and Alex seemed to be attempting to bring the rain back by hurling the ball towards the stratosphere but to no avail. Dan bowled very economically and was unlucky not to be rewarded with a wicket. George Rivett (3-0-22-0) had a go at the batsmen but ended up giving away runs hand over fist and was replaced with George Stacey (2-0-10-0) who faired much better. Bob Sims (2-0-19-0) took over one end and Joel (0.5-0-9-0) produced some impressive bowling at the other but the batting partnership between Franklin (49*) and Dalrymple (68*) consisted of 140 runs and was enough to see Waggoners through to victory with 6 overs to go.

It was an up and down day for the Shoreham team but as the rain finally came down 5 minutes after the game finished, one thing became clear: rain dances don’t work…

- George

The former Sunday captain Sean Bromfield skippered a very strong Shoreham side against a Locksbottom side which had a number of late drop-outs. Luckily Sean still remembered how to lose the toss and Shoreham were put into bat. Whilst most of the team tried to keep frost bite at bay on the boundary, Sean opened with debutant Alex Strange and both batsmen scored very freely from the off. Sean hadn’t lost his batting prowess and he raced to his half century but was finally caught out on 57. This meant that Alex was joined at the crease by Russell Brooks. Alex got his 50 in emphatic style but Russell was hot on his tails scoring a very quick half century. Alex ended up bowled on 82, Russell finished up with 60 not out and George Stacey chipped in with a classy 7 off of 5 balls. Shoreham finished on 231 for 2 off of their 35 overs (the match had been shortened to a 35 over game due to the bad light).

After consuming a very welcome tea, Shoreham took to the field with as many layers as they could find. Jamie Bromfield (7-1-12-1) opened with Bob Stacey (5-0-21-1) and each took a scalp very economically. Bob was replaced by Dan Setterfield (3-0-12-2) who took two very important wickets whilst keeping the run rate down. Greg Taylor (4-0-15-0) replaced Jamie and showed some impressive bowling skills which were a surprise to most of the team… Kumar (2-0-18-0) had to be persuaded into bowling his two overs which included some close shouts. George Rivett (4-1-5-1) was rewarded with a wicket which I will have to pledge to Kumar due to his diving one handed catch at square leg. George Stacey (3-0-14-0) bowled very well causing the batsmen problems and was replaced by Brad Sims (3-0-8-2) who took two fantastic wickets whilst bowling like a demon. Sean Bromfield (3-0-6-0) joined in the party and pressed the batsmen in the race for the final wickets. Alex Strange (1-0-4-0) bowled very well considering 3 of the 4 runs he conceded came from wides. Locksbottom finished off on 139 for 7 wickets which handed victory to Shoreham by 92 runs due to it being an overs game.

A special mention should go to the fielding of Shoreham which really was top of the range. Both George Rivett and Greg were demonstrating what their huge forearms could achieve and also, where Locksbottom dropped most of the catches that came their way, Shoreham held on to absolutely everything. I’ve already mentioned Kumar’s beauty at square leg but there was also Brad’s catch at keeper which was solid and Jamie Bromfield’s brilliant reaction catch at second slip where he had about half a second to get to it. Bob also took two fantastic catches including their opener who was on 49 at the time. Bob did feel bad for it but in his own words “you can’t drop ‘em can ya?”

This was the last game that Bros. Bromfield would play for us this summer due to Sean’s return to Ireland and Jamie’s travelling commitments. Although they will be missed it was good to see the likes of Alex and George Stacey who look to become regulars in the side. Yes although it was a cold and bitter day, the future looks bright for the Sunday side…

- George

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

The second team’s first outing of the season was to Luddesdowne CC, who are new members of the League this season: a cause for celebration all round. The weather however declined to join the party and we were huddled round warm mugs of tea before the game. Had it not been Luddesdowne’s first match would we have gone out there? Probably not. Staying in the clubhouse would have been a far, far better thing to do.

As it was, Shoreham took the field in light drizzle and freezing cold for a 30 over game. Andre bowled seven consecutive overs, finishing with 7 – 0 – 35 – 1. At the other end, Wyn opened and did not concede a run from his first over. Under previous management, he was only ever asked to bowl one over in a game, and so he was quite confused to be asked to carry on. He lasted only two further, rather expensive overs before being withdrawn from the ‘attack’. Wintergreen (surely ‘evergreen’ – ed) Ray Trick replaced Wyn and bowled seven economical overs, finishing 7 – 0 – 26 – 0. Father and no-relation team of Nick and Miles Walker undertook the rest of the overs. Nick took two wickets, but, on the evidence, Miles was the pick of the bowling – taking three scalps in his 6 over spell. One of the wickets was a lofted caught and bowled. We were a little concerned that the excitement as he watched the ball looping up and then down into his waiting hands would prove all to much for Miles, but he claimed the catch with a final, climactic scream of delight.

Out on the steppes, the rest of the team took what shelter they could and tried to keep their core body temperatures above freezing. Special mention should be made of Derek Richardson, who last played in his comeback game in August 2009. I reported that after that game he was last seen being gently manoeuvred into a car for the homeward journey having kept wicket heroically to some demanding bowling – particularly from Jamie Bromfield and James Asplin. This was his first game since, and in the first over he damaged his leg making a fine stop out on the boundary. When will we see him again?

Chasing 158, Shoreham became bogged down in the cold and the damp. A total that should have been within our compass gradually became less achievable. Notable contributions came from Ray (34), Nick Walker (28), and Derek (18). Otherwise, the only notes taken would have been to add Nick Pearce and Wyn to the early contenders for the Duck Cup.

So Luddesdowne won their first fixture, and we were part of that.

Saturday was also Nick Walker’s first game as captain, taking over from the inimitable Chris Brown. Chris was captain of the infant second eleven and nurtured it as it took its first steps. He was a selfless captain and took his responsibilities very seriously, trying to balance the needs of individuals and of the team in everyone’s best interests. He has been a good father and now, like any wise parent, he is giving his child its freedom. Unfortunately though, he is turning up to dance at its parties.

Wyn

SHOREHAM: 259 FOR 6
ROYAL NATIONAL THEATRE: 125 F0R 6

Loosing the toss for the second week in a row Shoreham’s Saturday side were invited to bat, the innings could not have got off to a better start with C Brown putting the golden duck of the previous week behind him by hooking the first ball of the innings for 6. Brown (9) was the first wicket to fall with the score on 22, This brought A Montgomerie to the crease to join Sam Trick and after a partnership of 33 Montgomerie was bowled with 11 runs to his credit. S Trick was joined by P Edge at the crease and they went about consolidating the innings with the biggest partnership of the innings taking place (65) before S Trick fell for 60. James Trick then joined Phil Edge in the middle, but Phil soon joined S Trick back in the hut when he was caught in the deep for 37 which included three 6s and two 4s. J Trick then started to stroke the ball to all parts of the ground capitalising on some wayward bowling and had a worthwhile partnership with Greg Taylor who achieved his highest score of 20 which included his first ever 6. J Asplin (5) and Brad Sims (7 n.o.) stayed with James who continued his fine form with the bat reaching an unbeaten 95 in the final 16 overs which included 16 from the final over to enable Shoreham to reach an imposing score of 259 for 6.

R.N.T got off to a good start plundering 52 runs off of the first 10 overs. Nigel Jeffery (10-3-23-3) claimed 2 quick wickets to reduce the visitors to 59 for 2, removing the opener Morris (20) and the no. 3 for 1. Jeffrey was also unlucky not to pick up more wickets with the R.N.T batsmen playing and missing frequently. Alex Mazzon (6-0-18-1) was brought into the attack and built on his promising debut the previous week picking up a wicket and going close on a number of other occaisions. Brad Sims (4-2-10-1) bowled tightly producing some swinging deliveries and was rewarded with the wicket of opener Lumsden (27) . With the visitors dropping anchor Sam Trick (4-0-16-0) and Phil Edge (3-1-7-0) tried in vain to break the visitors resolution to hold out for a draw. Opening bowler Ed Walker (9-1-41-1) came back into the attack and dislodged Bloom 27 with Jeffrey taking another wicket but the game petered out with the visitors holding on for a draw with their score on 125 with 3 wickets remaining.

- Ray