This was the beginning of our chance to end the first half of the season in style: Withyham at home, then next week St. Lawrence away, then Lympsfield Chart at home, before facing joint league leaders Underriver.

At 2.00 things didn’t look hopeful as rain lashed across the field driven by a stiff breeze, and thunder rumbled overhead. Suddenly the wind veered, blue sky appeared from the west and the game was on.

For once, we had a team brimming with youthful bowlers (or, as Nick Pearce was kind enough to put it, in the hearing of our more seasoned servants, ‘good bowlers, for a change’). Alex and Tom were the first of our good bowlers used, and from the first they had Withyham’s openers twitching like landed fish as they tried to make contact with deliveries whistling into or past them. For a while Withyham stumbled along at around two an over but without loss. It took Ed’s introduction to start the wickets falling, and then they fell quite steadily: Ed and Tom finishing with three apiece, George with two, and Alex and Bob Shapter (spot the odd man out) with one each.

The most significant resistance came from George Smith, who looked as though he should be asked to produce a birth certificate before being allowed to play. He’s about 2’ 6”, probably weighs 3 stone wringing wet (do the conversions yourselves metric boys) and batted impeccably, finishing on 25 not out – a higher score than even extras.

Alex, obviously auditioning for the Firsts, put one catch down and retired, downcast to the boundary. It was at this point that the crowd closed his book and went for a stroll. In contrast to Alex, Ed seemed quite jolly when he dropped one off his Dad’s bowling, and continued in merry mood when he came out to umpire.

Set a modest 131, but with the wicket and outfield still slow, we made a poor start. Nick Pearce scored off each of the first two balls, but the third evaded his bat (or did it?), struck his pad, and was taken by the keeper. Standing at the non-striker’s end, er, I mean following up keenly from the non-striker’s end, I have to say that in the flurry of bat and pads I wasn’t sure what had happened, but Nick’s general demeanour as he walked off gave the impression that he had very entrenched views on the subject.

Your correspondent failed to trouble the scorers, beyond recording the means of his dismissal, and Paul Styles only managed a solitary single. At something like 10 – 3 things were not looking good.

Then came the stand that steadied the ship. Captain Nick was joined by Pat Reynolds, and they looked capable of finishing the match on their own until, due to one of those unfortunate incidents when one chap has his ear trumpet tuned to the wrong station and is busy thinking about how his marrows are doing, as the other chap comes hurtling down the pitch yelling, they found themselves sharing the same crease, and hadn’t finished debating who was going to make an effort to reach the other end before the bails were removed. Nick it was who trudged in, after a confident 28 that seems to confirm his return to form.

Young Ed replaced old Nick and struck a lively 27. With the winning post in sight, first Ed and then ex-captain Brown were lost, but Cool-hand Bob Shapter strode to the crease and dispatched the winning boundary with great insouciance. We won by four wickets with three and a half overs in hand. Pat finished on an unbeaten 52, just failing to avoid the purchase of a jug after spending a suspiciously long time on 49.

At the time of writing it looks as though there is a result for Otford – Lympsfield Chart that has not been returned. Both teams are currently below us (as are Withyham) and will stay that way if their fixture was abandoned or if Lympsfield won. Otford could overtake us if they won.

Next week we play St. Lawrence who are just one point ahead of us, but their total includes 20 points for a conceded fixture. A key game!

Wyn

Vaughan Williams ‘The Lark Ascending’ was a fitting accompaniment to my drive through the sunlit summer lanes from Lympsfield Chart to Cudham Wyse. This is one of the most popular pieces in the classical repertoire among British listeners. The use of pentatonic scale patterns frees the violin from a strong tonal centre, and shows the impressionistic side of Vaughan Williams’ style. This liberty also extends to the metre. The cadenzas for solo violin are written without bar lines, lending them a sense of meditational release.

Anyway, it’s pretty good.

I don’t like to make these reviews just about me, but due to a simple error I was absent for the first ten overs of Cudham Wyse’s innings and so I can’t write, first-hand, about anyone else.

Apparently Brad and Bob Shapter made their customary start, keeping the run rate modest but – on this occasion – without making a breakthrough.

First change were Captain Nick and George Rivett (although the Play Cricket website mistakenly says it was Jack – Boozy please note). Last year George went away a rosy-cheeked, spindly, slow to medium paced, spectacles cleaner. After his round the world tour he has returned a meat-eating, fire-breathing quickie, capable of getting the ball to lift sharply off a length and of bullying even established batsmen.

Before and after the drinks break, Nick and George took two wickets each: as the scoreboard changed from 75 – 0 to 125 – 4. Cudham Wyse were moving along at 5 an over but at this stage their innings stalled. Some tight bowling, supported by sharp fielding – notably from Josh Westacott, demonstrating his youth on one boundary, and from Nick Pearce, demonstrating his circus skills on the other.

The fall of Cudham Wyse’s sixth wicket at 143 brought Danny Thomas to the crease, and he and Chris Barnes plundered 62 more runs from the last 8 overs, with a combination of bold hitting and quick singles. Before this partnership, a total of 170 – 180 had looked likely but now we had a more formidable 205 to chase.

In a way, our innings began in a similar way to theirs, although it was now the glittering notes of Vivaldi’s violin concerto in B minor that provided a perfect accompaniment to the early evening sunshine, as I made my way back from Lympsfield Chart, carrying the kit that I had inadvertently left there earlier.

I returned to find that Nick Pearce and Pat (aka ‘Stan’) Reynolds were already showered and changed: Nick having contributed an explosive 8 and ‘Stan’ a modest 1. Captain Nick and Martin Wells began to repair the damage with a partnership that lasted several overs (to which Nick contributed 1). It was then Martin, Bob Shapter, and Chris Brown who supplied some substance to our innings. Martin looked in extremely good touch until failing to read an inswinging ball and departing for 34. Bob’s controlled aggression contributed 28 before he fell to an improbable catch at short extra cover when another boundary had seemed odds on.

What is it possible to say about Chris’s innings? He rode his luck as the ball bounced around and over his stumps from a series of Chinese cuts and other, rarer shots that have not yet been categorised and described in Wisden. In between these he top scored with 44 runs to all parts of the ground.

Brad had a golden entry for the duck cup. Russ was bowled just a few runs later, having struck a single boundary. Josh showed distinct promise in his 15 run innings. Ageing Hack (dressed by Walker) was then left undefeated on 9 as a surge of testosterone had Spectacles Cleaner Man swinging wildly over a straight one.

Shoreham were all out in 36.4 overs: 34 runs short of Cudham Wyse’s total and 19 runs short of our next batting point.

Bowling and batting points are proving vital in the bottom half of the Division 5 table. We are one of four teams with just one win to date. We are 9 points behind Otford, 1 ahead of St. Lawrence, and 5 ahead of Lympsfield Chart. Withyham prop up the table with no wins so far.

We have yet to play the three teams below us so this should give us the opportunity to chalk up some more points. Next week however we play Luddesdown, who top the table, partly as a result of two cancelled fixtures. Fortunately this is a home game, so no feats of memory or navigation are required.

Wyn

In exceptionally difficult fielding conditions, Shoreham beat Otford by 5 wickets with 7 overs to spare.
Wyn

Wyn, I think that people might appreciate a little more detail.
Nick

I think that I’ve covered the essentials.
Wyn

No, really. What about the batting and bowling and that sort of thing?
Nick

I feel that the defining characteristic of the match, that everyone will want to know about, is just how tricky – in fact nearly impossible – fielding was: what with the uneven ground and the sun reflecting off the windscreens in the car park, and everything.
Wyn

Everyone else managed.
Nick

Well what about those Otford batspeople who either dropped the ball just out of range, or else hit it straight at you, very hard?
Wyn

Oh, just get on with it!
Nick

No need to take that tone, Mr. Snappy.

The afternoon began with the captain addressing the side in the changing room. He suggested that the reason for the previous week’s loss to Halstead was that we had let them score too many runs. A stunned silence followed this penetrating analysis, which put the whole game in a new light for many of us.

Fielding first, in very challenging conditions, we found that Gideon Bishop, Otford’s number two, was in aggressive form, and he plundered 38 runs from our opening attack in very quick order. Brad finally trapped Bishop lbw, swinging across the line once too often. After that, the score progressed at a more modest rate, but without further loss, into the second half of the innings. At 122 for 1 in the 25th over, Otford seemed destined to post a large score. Then, after Ed was withdrawn from the attack, there was a remarkable turnaround. First, the big Rivett bowled Jonathan Pyman, the Otford captain batting at number three, and only one run later he held on to a catch to dismiss Otford’s other opener off Captain Nick’s bowling. The floodgates then opened.

Nick and Jack broke the back of Otford’s batting. Nick finished with 5 wickets and Jack with 2. The little Rivett then contributed a few tidy overs before Brad returned to polish off the end of a long tail. Monty claimed two catches, Jack, George and Nick one each. From 122 -1 Otford slumped to 165 all out.

Our bowlers were well supported by some very smart fielding, which was remarkable in the difficult conditions in which anyone might have been forgiven for being deceived by the unpredictable bounce in an uneven outfield. Particularly with the light reflecting off the windscreens in the car park, and .. (The following 200 words have been omitted – ed).

With a fast track, a quick outfield, and a required rate of just over four an over, the scene was set for a Paul Styles innings. At first though, it was Will Westacott who dominated the scoring: racing to his fifty and finally falling for 73 when the openers had completed a century opening stand. Captain Nick was next in but failed to trouble the scorer. Then came Bob Shapter.

It was very noticeable that up to this point virtually all our scoring was either in singles or fours. There had been just two twos. Bob then nearly completed a third – all on his own – before failing to recover his ground as Paul watched benignly, and statically, from the other end.

Monty was fifth in, but was reduced to a spectator as Paul retained the strike, over after over, passing his fifty with a lusty six and a four. Paul was eventually caught at slip, out for 65, with the job all but done. Ed quickly supplied the 6 further runs required for victory.

So, we posted our first win of the season, and look forward to more: preferably on better tended outfields where fielding … (a further 100 words have been omitted here in the readers’ interest. – ed).

Wyn

For the second season in a row our first fixture was against league debutantes: last year Luddesdowne, this year Underriver.

Of course, one has to be welcoming and so winning would have seemed discourteous.

Losing the toss, we were invited to bat. Our batting order was flexible to allow Montie, who was being crowned Queen Of The May elsewhere, to slot in when he arrived.

Ring rustiness, or possibly the wrong optical prescription, seemed to affect most of the top order. Paul Styles struck a couple of confident boundaries before playing down the wrong line and diverting the ball onto his stumps. Nick (Captain Hologram) Walker, lasted for just a few, eventful balls. Bob Shapter hung around for a while but also perished cheaply. Wyn attempted to play a steady role but was comprehensively beaten by a good yorker before managing more than a single boundary.

The only man to stand tall was Will Westacott – although let it be said that he is no longer taller than son Josh, who has either been standing in a growbag or was wearing stilts under his whites. First in and fifth out, Will was the only one of the top order to offer us a gleam of hope. Just as he began to flex his muscles and attack the bowling, he was caught on the boundary. Had he survived the story of the game might have been different.

Now came the Sims.

There had been discussion in the close season about whether to play Brad as an all rounder or as an out-and-out paramedic. He proved his worth in the all rounders role: top scoring – only interrupting his innings to save the life of the elderly mother of Underriver’s president, who collapsed on the boundary – and, later, bowling nine economical overs. Meanwhile Bob lent good support, keeping out the bowling at the other end.

By the time that Bob was out the May Queen had arrived, and strode out to bat, long locks flowing in the breeze. Everyone danced round him for a while, but – after a promising start – he too fell cheaply. After that, the enthusiastic and promising, but fatally inexperienced, tail of Josh Westacott, Jack Webster, and Zac Beresford contributed only a handful of runs, and Shoreham were all out for 93.

When the opposition were 39 – 4, with Bob Shapter and Brad bowling well, all things seemed possible, but despite our best efforts Underriver lost no more wickets, and overtook us in the 20th over of their innings.

So, welcome to Underriver and better luck to us next time.

- Wyn

If you ever visit Outwood, it’s worth the detour, but don’t travel by convoy with a bus driver who doesn’t exceed speed limits and a retired postman whose right knee won’t let him push down on the accelerator pedal.  When we eventually got there another toss was lost by the visiting captain, meaning Shoreham’s second-stringers were consigned to an afternoon chasing leather into the National Trust woods that surround the ground.

The opening attack of Ed Walker and Bob Shapter was challenged by Outwood’s experienced opening pair, Ed’s flowing hair disproving the Samson theory of longer = stronger, and Bob’s increasing lack of hair demonstrating that wisdom does come with age, as he happily agreed to concentrate on his fielding after 4 overs.  It took the introduction of Nick Walker and Jackson Rivett to slow the run rate down from 7 to 5 an over and they both bowled uninterrupted spells: 9-43-1 and 9-53-2 respectively.  Shoreham’s ground fielding in the main was quite tidy and everyone worked hard all afternoon, though the hard and bumpy outfield proved a friend to the batsmen in both innings.  But our catching was less than immaculate – both openers were dropped before they reached 50, one of them going on to score 121.  Jack, Willy Westacott and Bob Shapter did eventually hold onto catches, following their earlier transgressions; but our wicket-keeper unfortunately failed to bag a top edged skier – indeed he never saw it until it plopped on the ground  5 feet behind him.  A former full-back for Sevenoaks 1st XV failed to hold on to a lofted off drive as well… but enough said.

Alex Hofmann made a tidy, if somewhat petulant, contribution at the death, and both openers came back respectably in their second spells.  Even the wicket keeper made amends with a well judged throw for a run out at the bowler’s end to grab a precious bowling point.  The verdict as we headed for an excellent tea was that we had probably got off lightly with Outwood on 260-6 at the close.

After tea, Bob the bus-driver was soon back in the garage after shuffling across his stumps.  And then all hell broke loose.  Nick Pearce, who had already showed his attacking intentions, was joined by Will Stanyard, who, after a couple of streaky opening salvoes, swiftly got into his stride.  Outwood’s opening bowlers were taken apart, as 117 runs came from the first 10 overs.  Will reached 50 in 8 overs and Nick, who hit the longest of sixes over the pavilion, managed his shortly afterwards.  But as suddenly as it had started,  it was all over.  Both batsmen departed for 57 and we returned to the sedate accumulation method preferred by Bob Shapter, and Nick Walker.  They managed to keep the target at 5 runs an over until the 200 was passed, when Nick showed a remarkable lack of judgement and pace in running himself out and Bob executed an air shot.  With 10 overs and 5 wickets remaining, the 50 or so runs needed seemed gettable, but there were to be more victims yet.  Paul looked comfortable in his first innings for 10 months, Ed smacked a couple of boundaries and Willy Westacott looked as though he would see it through.  However all three flattered to deceive and it was left to a heartstopping finale with Alex getting back in the swing (10 not out) and Josh Westacott (13 not out) showing remarkable aplomb and winning the game with a six over the pavilion roof.  How cool is that?  264-8 off 38.1 overs, following last weeks 240-3 of 37.  Things are looking up for Shoreham’s 2nd team as well as its 1st team.

Keep ‘em coming…

- Nick W

There could hardly have been a greater contrast in weather conditions than between the first day of the season, when we stood blue lipped, wet and miserable in Luddesdowne’s outfield, and this Saturday when we were slowly microwaved on our own ground.

Fielding first, again, we opened from the pavilion end with the returning Ed Walker. Fresh from his art show, hair streaming even further than before, Ed gave a performance that was, according to critics, somewhere between the impressionistic and surreal. It was well received by Luddesdowne’s openers and the score mounted rapidly. Change was obviously required and so we shifted from surrealism to dada. Old Father Nick proceeded to calm things down with a long, economical spell.

Meanwhile Bob Shapter bowled a few tidy overs, and then the first change at his end proved productive. Wyn’s incredibly deceptive, really slow ball struck the batsman’s pads and whilst the result of a polite lbw appeal was being deliberated Will Stanyard whipped off the bails and there was no doubt about the stumping. Nick removed Luddesdowne’s number 3 and a few overs later Wyn was indebted to Dan James for a boundary catch that removed the next man in.

A long stand then followed that was only broken by Ed’s return. Four down was all that we could manage, despite the further efforts of Bob, Ed, Jon and Chris (now figuring in the traditional, second team, one-over, strike bowler role). Luddesdowne’s early charge had been reined in but they still put together a total of 244.

Alex and Wyn opened for Shoreham, and though they set a lively pace both were soon back in the pavilion, Wyn for 6 and Alex for 14. Then came the defining partnership of the day, dominated by Will with a solid supporting role from Nick. We would have been at the George possibly half an hour earlier had Will not cleared the fence with such regularity. (Without the pre-season clearance work we would probably have run out of balls). Will took a pretty friendly Luddesdowne attack to the cleaners, finally falling when there was less than 50 to get at around three an over.

At this point Bob came out to join Nick. In a different season there would have been little tension, with wickets and overs in hand. This season – having yet to win – there was a certain frisson of anxiety around the pavilion. In the middle, Bob was at his most phlegmatic and, almost glacially, he and Nick advanced the score. Bob was quite resolute in dealing with Nick’s calling and on the one occasion when he was forced into running against his better judgement Luddesdowne obliged with some fielding that was possibly born of shared incredulity. A final boundary pushed the score to 247 with 4 overs to spare.

A very enjoyable afternoon’s cricket, played in a great spirit, finished with the right result as far as we were concerned, balancing our defeat back at the beginning of May. We look forward to meeting Luddesdowne next year.

Nick Pearce did not score in this game but would probably like a mention.

- Wyn

This is just a little like writing Goldilocks. Last week was too wet and too cold, this week was to dry and too hot… perhaps next week will be just right?

The Shoreham XI that took the field on Saturday was notable for a few combinations. At the top of the order when we came to bat were Simon Wells and Chris Brown. A look at the crumbling Shoreham archives tells me that this was at one time the established Sunday opening pair. The explanatory note saying that this was to give time for everyone else to get there from church seems frankly implausible. Simon was also one half of one of the father and son combinations on the pitch. David Melville-Jones was also making an appearance alongside his dad.

Fielding first, we kept Cudham Wyse’s run rate down with some excellent fast bowling from Alex Masson and some good line and length stuff from the captain. Alex was well suited by the dry, hard pitch but he must wish that it didn’t drop about six inches from the batting crease to the stumps: several balls missing the bails by a very small margin. Though Alex was virtually unplayable, the breakthrough came with a run-out when the batsmen chanced a second run against Jack Rivett’s arm. They payed the price as Jack speared in a huge throw from the boundary for Martin to whip off the bails.

The second wicket had to wait for Jack to take up the bowling duties and trap Cudham Wyse’s number three lbw. This proved to be a mistake as it brought Sam Merron in and from then on the tempo of the scoring increased as he plundered 94 runs, mainly from the second and third string bowlers. Without Merron’s contribution Cudham Wyse’s total would have been modest, but in the event they set us 203 to chase.

The record shows that Alex, Nick Walker, Jack and Russell (must be a dog joke there somewhere) all bowled economically and took a wicket apiece. The record however also shows that Martin bowled one over for 15 runs – no doubt because of all the byes he conceded by not being able to get behind the stumps fast enough. It also shows that Nick Pearce bowled an expensive over, but he must have been in stealth mode as no one but the scorer knew he was there. And ‘Unsure’ apparently also conceded 31 from 3 overs, but Unsure is pretty sure that he knows who he is and is also sure that he wasn’t that expensive. Anyway…

Having fielded in the heat for two and a half hours, IPL import Simon Wells then opened and spent a further two hours in the middle accumulating the 84 runs that were the backbone of our innings. Shoreham were never very far from the required rate. Simon and Chris pushed the score along steadily, but when Chris departed for 18 – with the score around 60 – there was a little wobble as first Nick and then Martin went cheaply (in fact Nick couldn’t have gone more cheaply).

Througout our innings the game remained evenly poised. Simon continued to strike the ball well, while at the other end there was a succession of cameo innings from some of Shoreham’s rising stars.: perhaps we were slight favourites, but as the final overs were played out we couldn’t accelerate to finish off the game and wickets fell steadily.

First IPA import Jack accumulated 19. Well, I say accumulated. First he slumbered like a volcano, then he struck three boundaries and then he was out. Russell followed Jack ( – still working on that dog joke, but I haven’t quite got it yet) and became the anchor for the final overs.

When Simon was finally out, and staggered from the field, Alex took his place. Alex’s innings mirrored Jack’s and he was out for 12.

With tension mounting all the time, James Anderson was eighth man in. There were around five overs still to go and around 30 runs required. James’s innings was like Jack’s and Alex’s, only less restrained. Windmilling at everything that was bowled at him he failed to trouble the scorers much, until – with the remainder of the innings being measured in balls – he finally managed to make a couple of significant contacts that each sailed to the boundary, leaving us tied, with one over remaining. The field was brought in but Russell drove the first ball to the boundary, and we had our first victory of the season.

(Can anyone help with that dog joke?)

- Wyn