If you ever visit Outwood, it’s worth the detour, but don’t travel by convoy with a bus driver who doesn’t exceed speed limits and a retired postman whose right knee won’t let him push down on the accelerator pedal.  When we eventually got there another toss was lost by the visiting captain, meaning Shoreham’s second-stringers were consigned to an afternoon chasing leather into the National Trust woods that surround the ground.

The opening attack of Ed Walker and Bob Shapter was challenged by Outwood’s experienced opening pair, Ed’s flowing hair disproving the Samson theory of longer = stronger, and Bob’s increasing lack of hair demonstrating that wisdom does come with age, as he happily agreed to concentrate on his fielding after 4 overs.  It took the introduction of Nick Walker and Jackson Rivett to slow the run rate down from 7 to 5 an over and they both bowled uninterrupted spells: 9-43-1 and 9-53-2 respectively.  Shoreham’s ground fielding in the main was quite tidy and everyone worked hard all afternoon, though the hard and bumpy outfield proved a friend to the batsmen in both innings.  But our catching was less than immaculate – both openers were dropped before they reached 50, one of them going on to score 121.  Jack, Willy Westacott and Bob Shapter did eventually hold onto catches, following their earlier transgressions; but our wicket-keeper unfortunately failed to bag a top edged skier – indeed he never saw it until it plopped on the ground  5 feet behind him.  A former full-back for Sevenoaks 1st XV failed to hold on to a lofted off drive as well… but enough said.

Alex Hofmann made a tidy, if somewhat petulant, contribution at the death, and both openers came back respectably in their second spells.  Even the wicket keeper made amends with a well judged throw for a run out at the bowler’s end to grab a precious bowling point.  The verdict as we headed for an excellent tea was that we had probably got off lightly with Outwood on 260-6 at the close.

After tea, Bob the bus-driver was soon back in the garage after shuffling across his stumps.  And then all hell broke loose.  Nick Pearce, who had already showed his attacking intentions, was joined by Will Stanyard, who, after a couple of streaky opening salvoes, swiftly got into his stride.  Outwood’s opening bowlers were taken apart, as 117 runs came from the first 10 overs.  Will reached 50 in 8 overs and Nick, who hit the longest of sixes over the pavilion, managed his shortly afterwards.  But as suddenly as it had started,  it was all over.  Both batsmen departed for 57 and we returned to the sedate accumulation method preferred by Bob Shapter, and Nick Walker.  They managed to keep the target at 5 runs an over until the 200 was passed, when Nick showed a remarkable lack of judgement and pace in running himself out and Bob executed an air shot.  With 10 overs and 5 wickets remaining, the 50 or so runs needed seemed gettable, but there were to be more victims yet.  Paul looked comfortable in his first innings for 10 months, Ed smacked a couple of boundaries and Willy Westacott looked as though he would see it through.  However all three flattered to deceive and it was left to a heartstopping finale with Alex getting back in the swing (10 not out) and Josh Westacott (13 not out) showing remarkable aplomb and winning the game with a six over the pavilion roof.  How cool is that?  264-8 off 38.1 overs, following last weeks 240-3 of 37.  Things are looking up for Shoreham’s 2nd team as well as its 1st team.

Keep ‘em coming…

- Nick W

There could hardly have been a greater contrast in weather conditions than between the first day of the season, when we stood blue lipped, wet and miserable in Luddesdowne’s outfield, and this Saturday when we were slowly microwaved on our own ground.

Fielding first, again, we opened from the pavilion end with the returning Ed Walker. Fresh from his art show, hair streaming even further than before, Ed gave a performance that was, according to critics, somewhere between the impressionistic and surreal. It was well received by Luddesdowne’s openers and the score mounted rapidly. Change was obviously required and so we shifted from surrealism to dada. Old Father Nick proceeded to calm things down with a long, economical spell.

Meanwhile Bob Shapter bowled a few tidy overs, and then the first change at his end proved productive. Wyn’s incredibly deceptive, really slow ball struck the batsman’s pads and whilst the result of a polite lbw appeal was being deliberated Will Stanyard whipped off the bails and there was no doubt about the stumping. Nick removed Luddesdowne’s number 3 and a few overs later Wyn was indebted to Dan James for a boundary catch that removed the next man in.

A long stand then followed that was only broken by Ed’s return. Four down was all that we could manage, despite the further efforts of Bob, Ed, Jon and Chris (now figuring in the traditional, second team, one-over, strike bowler role). Luddesdowne’s early charge had been reined in but they still put together a total of 244.

Alex and Wyn opened for Shoreham, and though they set a lively pace both were soon back in the pavilion, Wyn for 6 and Alex for 14. Then came the defining partnership of the day, dominated by Will with a solid supporting role from Nick. We would have been at the George possibly half an hour earlier had Will not cleared the fence with such regularity. (Without the pre-season clearance work we would probably have run out of balls). Will took a pretty friendly Luddesdowne attack to the cleaners, finally falling when there was less than 50 to get at around three an over.

At this point Bob came out to join Nick. In a different season there would have been little tension, with wickets and overs in hand. This season – having yet to win – there was a certain frisson of anxiety around the pavilion. In the middle, Bob was at his most phlegmatic and, almost glacially, he and Nick advanced the score. Bob was quite resolute in dealing with Nick’s calling and on the one occasion when he was forced into running against his better judgement Luddesdowne obliged with some fielding that was possibly born of shared incredulity. A final boundary pushed the score to 247 with 4 overs to spare.

A very enjoyable afternoon’s cricket, played in a great spirit, finished with the right result as far as we were concerned, balancing our defeat back at the beginning of May. We look forward to meeting Luddesdowne next year.

Nick Pearce did not score in this game but would probably like a mention.

- Wyn

This is just a little like writing Goldilocks. Last week was too wet and too cold, this week was to dry and too hot… perhaps next week will be just right?

The Shoreham XI that took the field on Saturday was notable for a few combinations. At the top of the order when we came to bat were Simon Wells and Chris Brown. A look at the crumbling Shoreham archives tells me that this was at one time the established Sunday opening pair. The explanatory note saying that this was to give time for everyone else to get there from church seems frankly implausible. Simon was also one half of one of the father and son combinations on the pitch. David Melville-Jones was also making an appearance alongside his dad.

Fielding first, we kept Cudham Wyse’s run rate down with some excellent fast bowling from Alex Masson and some good line and length stuff from the captain. Alex was well suited by the dry, hard pitch but he must wish that it didn’t drop about six inches from the batting crease to the stumps: several balls missing the bails by a very small margin. Though Alex was virtually unplayable, the breakthrough came with a run-out when the batsmen chanced a second run against Jack Rivett’s arm. They payed the price as Jack speared in a huge throw from the boundary for Martin to whip off the bails.

The second wicket had to wait for Jack to take up the bowling duties and trap Cudham Wyse’s number three lbw. This proved to be a mistake as it brought Sam Merron in and from then on the tempo of the scoring increased as he plundered 94 runs, mainly from the second and third string bowlers. Without Merron’s contribution Cudham Wyse’s total would have been modest, but in the event they set us 203 to chase.

The record shows that Alex, Nick Walker, Jack and Russell (must be a dog joke there somewhere) all bowled economically and took a wicket apiece. The record however also shows that Martin bowled one over for 15 runs – no doubt because of all the byes he conceded by not being able to get behind the stumps fast enough. It also shows that Nick Pearce bowled an expensive over, but he must have been in stealth mode as no one but the scorer knew he was there. And ‘Unsure’ apparently also conceded 31 from 3 overs, but Unsure is pretty sure that he knows who he is and is also sure that he wasn’t that expensive. Anyway…

Having fielded in the heat for two and a half hours, IPL import Simon Wells then opened and spent a further two hours in the middle accumulating the 84 runs that were the backbone of our innings. Shoreham were never very far from the required rate. Simon and Chris pushed the score along steadily, but when Chris departed for 18 – with the score around 60 – there was a little wobble as first Nick and then Martin went cheaply (in fact Nick couldn’t have gone more cheaply).

Througout our innings the game remained evenly poised. Simon continued to strike the ball well, while at the other end there was a succession of cameo innings from some of Shoreham’s rising stars.: perhaps we were slight favourites, but as the final overs were played out we couldn’t accelerate to finish off the game and wickets fell steadily.

First IPA import Jack accumulated 19. Well, I say accumulated. First he slumbered like a volcano, then he struck three boundaries and then he was out. Russell followed Jack ( – still working on that dog joke, but I haven’t quite got it yet) and became the anchor for the final overs.

When Simon was finally out, and staggered from the field, Alex took his place. Alex’s innings mirrored Jack’s and he was out for 12.

With tension mounting all the time, James Anderson was eighth man in. There were around five overs still to go and around 30 runs required. James’s innings was like Jack’s and Alex’s, only less restrained. Windmilling at everything that was bowled at him he failed to trouble the scorers much, until – with the remainder of the innings being measured in balls – he finally managed to make a couple of significant contacts that each sailed to the boundary, leaving us tied, with one over remaining. The field was brought in but Russell drove the first ball to the boundary, and we had our first victory of the season.

(Can anyone help with that dog joke?)

- Wyn

There are essentially two ways of responding to the kind of weather conditions that prevailed on Saturday: there is the going down the pub, sitting there talking about how you wish you were playing, and racking up your five points way (which we’ll call the First Eleven Method), and then there’s the gritty, British, ‘Well we’re all here so we’d better make the best of it’ approach – and that’s the Second Eleven way. And we do it with style. It was really impressive how many of the eleven had brought their own spectacle and/or ball drying flannels to the game, and – if I’m not mistaken – one or two of them might actually have been monogrammed.

Having watched the rain for an hour, we took to the field in a light drizzle. Leigh raced away, with their infant prodigy, Kevin Watts, scoring a brisk 52. He took a particular liking to our own six-foot, infant prodigy, Alex Masson, who was temporarily withdrawn from the attack. The experience of Ray at one end and Nick Walker at the other then calmed things down, though Leigh continued to accumulate runs steadily, without loss. The key to breaking the opening partnership was the return of veteran (surely vetinary – ed) (I know what I mean – Hack) Graham Peck, who turned over his creaking shoulder and tempted the infant Kevin into a lofted drive. Down on the long-on boundary, an unconcerned Derek was wandering around in the gloom. Alerted to the approach of the small, round object, vaguely discernable against the grey sky, Derek made a remarkable catch, which was the highlight of a magnificent fielding display on his part. Naturally, he later injured himself and may not be seen again for a few weeks.

The next best fielding was probably that of Leigh’s square leg umpire. A sharp sweep, which he couldn’t see (because of a grounded Wyn, who was left clasping at thin air) caught him a painful blow on the shin, and so he saved a certain boundary.

Wyn was granted a marathon four over spell and, courtesy of a very sharp stumping by Martin, took the second wicket to fall. Several other close stumping appeals were denied – as they were at the other end.

Entering the final overs the pressure was on, and it was about now that Ray lost his ring. 

Alex Masson was reintroduced to the attack and his pace beat two of Leigh’s senior batsmen, who each saw their off-stump removed. Alex Haysler’s two overs from the other end were less productive, for Shoreham at least.

Leigh finished with a very respectable 30-over total of 186, setting us a target of just above 6 an over, but -with a top four of Mick Johnson, Ray, Nick Walker and Martin – we felt that this might not be beyond us. Unfortunately it was one of those afternoons when a catalogue of accidents and close things all went against us. Ray thought too late about having the sight screen adjusted when the bowler switched from over to round the wicket, Mick was caught on the very boundary off a no-ball that wasn’t called, and Nick feathered a ball into the keeper’s gloves.

Martin kept the flame burning, supported by a battling 10 from Hopalong Derek, a brief 2 from Alex Masson, and a stylish 11 from the ever-improving Alex Haysler. With a jug looking a nailed-on certainty, Martin steered an innocuous ball onto his stumps ‘by accident’, thereby saving himself a tenner and all but ending any faint hopes that we had of winning. The next objective was therefore to get at least one batting point. Wyn joined Chris when the score was on 102 and the better part of eight overs still remaining. They immediately developed an almost telepathic understanding, taking every run on offer with calls such as ‘I don’t know what you’re doing up here mate. You should be down the other end’. A lively partnership was broken in the penultimate over, with Chris swinging over a straight one. Graham joined Wyn and this pair were there at the end, with the score on 145.

Instead of the traditional march to the pavilion, both sides then formed a search line and combed the ground for Ray’s ring, which was restored to him.

In order to teach young Kevin and his Dad a lesson, we locked them in the pavilion when we set off for the George. There, the beer and the wine led some senior members of the squad into the kind of excess that we can only hope the Shoreham Gazette does not have photographs of.

An apology

Because your correspondent was away, there was no report of the Second’s game against Outwood. In that match, goaded by the lack of column inches devoted to his battling duck the previous week, Nick Pearce played a sparkling innings. But I wasn’t going to say much about that either in the hope that he would be spurred to even greater heights on his next appearance.

- Wyn

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

The second team’s first outing of the season was to Luddesdowne CC, who are new members of the League this season: a cause for celebration all round. The weather however declined to join the party and we were huddled round warm mugs of tea before the game. Had it not been Luddesdowne’s first match would we have gone out there? Probably not. Staying in the clubhouse would have been a far, far better thing to do.

As it was, Shoreham took the field in light drizzle and freezing cold for a 30 over game. Andre bowled seven consecutive overs, finishing with 7 – 0 – 35 – 1. At the other end, Wyn opened and did not concede a run from his first over. Under previous management, he was only ever asked to bowl one over in a game, and so he was quite confused to be asked to carry on. He lasted only two further, rather expensive overs before being withdrawn from the ‘attack’. Wintergreen (surely ‘evergreen’ – ed) Ray Trick replaced Wyn and bowled seven economical overs, finishing 7 – 0 – 26 – 0. Father and no-relation team of Nick and Miles Walker undertook the rest of the overs. Nick took two wickets, but, on the evidence, Miles was the pick of the bowling – taking three scalps in his 6 over spell. One of the wickets was a lofted caught and bowled. We were a little concerned that the excitement as he watched the ball looping up and then down into his waiting hands would prove all to much for Miles, but he claimed the catch with a final, climactic scream of delight.

Out on the steppes, the rest of the team took what shelter they could and tried to keep their core body temperatures above freezing. Special mention should be made of Derek Richardson, who last played in his comeback game in August 2009. I reported that after that game he was last seen being gently manoeuvred into a car for the homeward journey having kept wicket heroically to some demanding bowling – particularly from Jamie Bromfield and James Asplin. This was his first game since, and in the first over he damaged his leg making a fine stop out on the boundary. When will we see him again?

Chasing 158, Shoreham became bogged down in the cold and the damp. A total that should have been within our compass gradually became less achievable. Notable contributions came from Ray (34), Nick Walker (28), and Derek (18). Otherwise, the only notes taken would have been to add Nick Pearce and Wyn to the early contenders for the Duck Cup.

So Luddesdowne won their first fixture, and we were part of that.

Saturday was also Nick Walker’s first game as captain, taking over from the inimitable Chris Brown. Chris was captain of the infant second eleven and nurtured it as it took its first steps. He was a selfless captain and took his responsibilities very seriously, trying to balance the needs of individuals and of the team in everyone’s best interests. He has been a good father and now, like any wise parent, he is giving his child its freedom. Unfortunately though, he is turning up to dance at its parties.

Wyn

This is the month of summer holidays and of summer visitors: if you book early you get away, and if you don’t you find other people take their holidays with you. Much of Shoreham has been engaged in this way in the past few weeks, which has resulted in some rare and exotic sightings on the field of play, as captains pursued old acquaintances, or just accosted people in the street, as they tried to get a full side out. As we arrived at Plaxtol on the 8th an aggrieved spectator shouted at one of our team ‘Here! I’ve been done. I put in for a wreath for you!’

8th August – 2nd XI v Plaxtol

Plaxtol’s is a small ground – about the same width as the excavations for the gas pipeline that presently skirt their boundary fence – so high scoring can be expected. James Asplin, who opened at one end, began his run up by pushing off from the sight screen. At the other end James Blomfield was an intimidating sight as he rushed downhill. Despite the pace and aggression of James A and James B, the restored skills of Richard Bredon, the ageless wiles of Dangerman (aka Ray Trick) and the accuracy of Andre, the home side scored steadily. The longest interval without scoring was when Andre tried to give his surname to the scorers. The record shows that James A took 2 for 74, James B 1 for 52, Richard 2 for 52, Ray 2 for 47 from 5 overs, and Trampoline 2 for 47 off 8.

A single bowling point was to be our only reward for the day. Our own innings crumbled. The only notable resistance came from Dangerman, who was captain for the day, and whose 45 accounted for more than half the runs to come from a Shoreham bat. Andre kept the captain company for a long time, in a stand of 47, and his innings was described as possibly the best duck ever made by a Shoreham batsman.

Special mention should be made of Graham Clark, who dusted off his old school kit to make a comeback for the day, and of Darren Richardson who, despite an interval of years since his previous game, kept wicket splendidly, particularly to the two Jameses, who tested his full repertoire of diving takes on both sides of the wicket. Darren was showing signs of seizing up by the time he was manoeuvred into the car for the homeward journey. Word has not reached us as to whether he was successfully extricated at the other end and he hasn’t been sighted since. Get well soon Darren, and we hope we’ll see more of you as soon as you have regained full mobility.

15th August – 2nd XI v St. Lawrence

Despite there being no first team fixture that day only eleven players were available, including Steve who was given a warm welcome by all his old friends at St. Lawrence.

Will Stanyard donned the marigolds, which were being passed around like a case of swine flu, and he too put in a great performance.

The opening 18 overs really determined the course of the game as Nigel and Steve were bowled through: Nigel taking 3 for 23 and Steve 1 for 22. With most of their main batsmen removed early on, St. Lawrence were unable to pick up the pace in the second half of their innings, Richard Smith’s 43 being the only notable score in their 141.

Of the other bowlers used Richard finished with 2 for 33, Sam and Jack each contributed a cameo role and ended with a very economical 1 for 2, whilst Papillon took 1 for 34 in 9 overs.

St. Lawrence’s opening bowlers were difficult to get away and after 13 overs the score stood at 26 for 1, but the depth of our batting talent was shown by the fact that Steve was pencilled in at nine. Will coming in at four picked up the tempo, particularly after the first change of bowling, and Paul and Nigel (who top scored with 45) accelerated us through the winning tape with 12 overs to spare.

22nd August – 2nd XI v Withyham

8 man Withyham were asked to field by Captain Brown, and Montie and Alex were sent out to open. Both players, deliberately or not, took quite a lot of liberties with the field – many aerial shots landing in the gaps where there might have been a fielder under other circumstances. There was also the entertaining spectacle of Withyham’s lively opening bowler bouncing Alex. By standing on tiptoe and swatting Alex managed to tip the ball over the keeper’s head. Alex did eventually manage to locate a fielder with a lofted shot and then Sam joined Montie, and they carried things along to drinks, when the score was 92 – 1 and Withyham were up to 9 fielders.

After the break, scoring accelerated. Sam fell just short of 50, Montie carried on to get 76, Rupert and Jack made lively contributions, and eventually everyone got to bat, although Captain Brown didn’t face a ball as the Ageing Hack perished at the other end in the middle of the last over with the total at 248.

After tea, 10 man Withyham proved a far tougher proposition than they had been earlier in the season. Fresh wells of talent had been tapped and from the start they scored at the required rate of 6 an over. As soon as one or two wickets were taken and we felt in the driving seat another batsman would take up the battle and push the score along.

You know that popular computer game, the Sims, where you can create your own characters and then send them into real life situations? Well someone invented an improbable, one-legged bowler called Brad and sent him into our game. Amazingly, he managed three wickets in his nine over spell, whilst at the other end James B bowled tidily and took just one scalp. Next up were Rupert and Jackson who both bowled very well. Rupert is unrecognisably stronger and faster than two seasons ago, when your correspondent last played alongside him, and troubled each batsman. Jackson had a great day. Having failed to take notes from the book, I have to rely on memory to say that Jackson took three important wickets and Rupert two, but that may not be exact.

After young Rupert exhausted his permitted overs, James Martin (or is it Martin James?), who had made a good contribution in the field, was called up for one over. At this point, Wythyham’s number 10 batsman was proving himself to be a mean striker of the ball. If their last pair remained together for the last eight overs, scoring at the same rate, then the result would be very close. JM (or MJ) didn’t produce the answer in his first over and so Sam was called upon, and he produced the final wicket. In the end, the win looked comfortable, but right up until the last it had not seemed that way.

Finally, in this review of the last three weeks, I’m sure that you would all like to join with me in offering sincere commiserations to Mark (and any other Australians who are reading this) for losing such a well fought test series. No really.

See you Saturday Mark. We’ll help you forget the pain.

Ahahahahahahahaha!

Wyn

After last week’s monumental loss to Cudham Wyse, the Shoreham 2nd team were eager to get back to their winning ways at Halstead. Lucky tosser Brown got us off to a good start, and made the simple decision to have a bowl on this overcast day.

Ed, in his inaugural match for the 2nds, had the privilege of choosing which end he wanted to bowl from for once, and reasoned that Jasplin would prefer bowling uphill anyway. After bowling a couple of shocking wides, Ed then bowled a beauty to get Halstead’s opener caught behind by Will Stanyard. Tight bowling by James at the other end was rewarded by the wicket of Halstead’s other opener. Shoreham had made an imposing start, and at one stage had Halstead on 41-4.

JD took over from Ed at the top end, and bowled well off his reduced run-up. He eventually got the important wicket of Halstead’s no.4, who was on 60 at the time, thanks to a nimble stumping by Will. Nick Walker kept up the pressure, after replacing James, and picked up a wicket towards the end of his spell. Ray also chipped in with 4 tidy overs, and earned himself a wicket too. It was the returning Ed who got the wicket of Halstead’s other dangerous batsmen, who was on 70, and he ended up with what could well be his career best figures of 9-19-4. I might retire now.

Halstead reached 190, 28 of which were extras. Shoreham fielded very professionally throughout the game – of the 9 wickets we got, 5 were catches, 1 a stumping, and 1 even a full-blooded run-out. Other points to note are: apart from a tired final over, Jasplin bowled extremely well; and our only other bowler was Jackson (although the scorecard has mistaken him for his brother – not that I think he’ll mind) who threw in the odd pie across his 3 over spell. Juicy.

Confident that our batsmen could knock off the runs, most of the Shoreham team huddled around the radio inside the pavilion to listen to the Ashes. Meanwhile, out in the middle, our trusty opening pair of Ray and John launched into the Halstead bowling. 32 overs later the same pair were still at the crease (although one looked like he was about to keel over) and hit the winning runs to complete a whopping partnership of 194! Ray was 67no and John 80no (yes their were a lot of extras).

This historic feat was celebrated at the pub long into the night. And the Boakes Meadow Massive continued the drinking back at their HQ until Rupert fell over one too many times, and Jasplin fell asleep on a black marker. Yay.

- Ed

> View scorecard